the last ten...

pounds, that is. can't get rid of it. well, it doesn't help that i exercise sporadically and eat what i want, when i want. i guess i should be happy i only have ten left...

even if i get rid of that ten, though, i'm sure i'm still gonna have the pooch problem. i can see remnants of my abs, though they're covered with a layer of fat now. it was kind of funny cuz even when i was pregnant, i could see the shape of the top two "bricks"....you can still see it, but it's just not the same....lol. standing up and looking in the mirror is okay, but i have to strategically use my pants to cover up the pooch when i sit down...lol.

oh well...didn't attain my goal to get back to pre-pregnancy shape before school started...but i'm not willing to give up yummy food so i'll just have to live with it. at least when school starts again i won't have direct access to food and so maybe that will help...i swear, when i'm at home, i eat continuously throughout the day and still feel like eating even more! at least when i'm at school, i'm distracted by other things to take my mind off the craving for food! plus, walking from my classroom to a-building will at least give me some form of exercise! hehe.

yay for sleeping!

thank goodness...the past three nights brynna has progressively lengthened her sleeps. first night, slept until 5, second night until 6 and this morning, she slept all the way to 7!!!! such a good girl.

last night we put her to sleep shirtless because she was so hot. i think she's also ready to put herself to sleep. last night we put her down before she fell asleep and she whimpered a little but found her thumb and went to sleep. today she was getting tired-fussy, so i put her in her crib and in about 20 minutes (with some crying) she soothed herself to sleep. we'll continue with this...i remember when we did the cry it out method with caleb...that sucker didn't cry, he WAILED and for long periods of time! lol.

sucky sleeps and school's starting!

before we left for sacramento, brynna had started waking up during the night again for ONE feeding. that sucked.

while we were in sacramento, she started waking up one or two times, sometimes not going back to sleep promptly.

since we've been back from sacramento, brynna is waking up 2-3 times a night...

WTH???????

needless to say, dave and i are tired. thankfully caleb is not adding to the mix of ridiculosity with sleeping.

we don't really know what to do with brynna. last night she went to bed around 8, slept until 12, got up, ate, burped and went back to sleep. then she got up again at 210, ate a little bit more, didn't want to burp and went back to sleep. at 315 she's up again. it's really a blur as to what happened between 315 and 550, but at 550 dave fed her again.

the previous night was much like last night.

i went back to my old blogs about caleb and at this point he was waking up at least once a night to eat. at 6 months (brynna's 5 months now) we started feeding him rice cereal and then solids. we also started letting him cry himself to sleep at bedtime and cry himself back to sleep when he woke up in the night. the thing with caleb, though, was that i was very sure that he was getting enough to eat during the day to allow that. brynna, on the other hand, is not a good eater like him (though her legs make it look like she is!), so i worry that if we did that to her, it wouldn't work.

i dunno. we'll see how it goes until her 6 month appointment and ask doctor what he suggests then. of course, in one month's time we'll be freakin' zombies if her sleeping pattern continues.

back to sku

next week tuesday is the first day of the new school year...crazy!!!! summer went by pretty quickly, even if it was extended. i'm glad dave and i decided to share a summer school class to earn some extra money...we definitely needed it and switching off every week actually was nice cuz we got to spend some one on one time with the kids while the other was off at work.

i'm still not sure how my time management is going to go with the two kids and school. i think when i went back to work after caleb i was a little bit more apprehensive about it, though. this time i guess i have the experience of knowing that i'll be stressed and tired, but it will all work itself out somehow. my priorities are different, and sometimes i'm going to fail at doing everything i want or need to do. i have to remember to pace myself and keep my number one priority, my family, at the forefront of all decisions i make. i can't take on too much (though i know i inevitably will) and i have to sometimes say no to things i would have said yes to previously because i have two little ones who need my time and attention. i also have to trust that just cuz i'm not doing it, doesn't mean it's not going to be done well. it might be done differently than i would have done it and i just have to live with that. lol. easier said than done, but necessary.

i'm thinking this is generally what a day will look like once we're back in school...
530a - wake up...exercise for 2o minutes (hehe...we'll see if this actually happens)
600a - wake dave up, start putting together our lunch and cups
615a - get ready
700a - leave the house
330p - leave school
4-5 - play
500p - make dinner
600p - eat
7-8 - bocha and play
830p - put kids to bed
after that - plan and grade
no later than 11 - pass out

of course, knowing kids, this is a VERY loose schedule, subject to change based on the whims of caleb and brynna. leaving school at 330 everyday is something i hope we can accomplish...i know that there will be days when we have to stay later, but for the most part, i'm gonna try to stick to this because once i start letting us stay later and later, it's going to throw off our schedule even more and shift my priorities away from my family. plus too, my mom is gonna be so tired with the two kids everyday that she'll need the break by that time!

i'm excited to be back in the classroom but i know it's going to be a big challenge. caleb already loves gramma most (lol) but i think i'll be sad when it's both brynna AND caleb wanting gramma all the time. hehe. my mom will be sad too cuz they won't give her any time alone unless she locks herself in the bedroom. hehe. that's where caleb is right now, actually...with gramma in the bedroom. i'm going to go steal him...

back with my babies!!!

after seven long days and nights, i'm finally back with my babies!!

i knew it would be hard, but it was even harder than i expected. we left caleb first, and as i walked to the van, i seriously cried...bawled...hyperventilate kine cry. we then took brynna to dave's parent's house so that his dad could drive us to the airport. after leaving brynna, i had to stifle my crying since we were in the car with dave's dad and i didn't want him to feel weird.

the week went by slowly, of course, but at least the conference itself was good, got me excited to be an avid teacher, and taught me different strategies to use. every time i looked at my phone, and the picture of brynna and caleb on my screen, i got sad all over again. thank goodness i at least had dave there with me...if i was by myself, i think i would have been a lot worse!!!!

of course, though, here at home caleb was living it up with his one on one attention from my mom. he sometimes said hi to me on the phone, but more often was engaged in other activities and couldn't be bothered with talking to me...lol. brynna had some rough nights but overall was okay...at least she didn't get sick!!!

coming home to them was the best thing ever...being able to smoosh my face into their necks and smother them with kisses!!! caleb seemed more interested in seeing brynna than us at first, but i think he is happy to have us back so there's triple the attention. brynna was sleeping when we got to her, but she woke up and gave us her smiles and laughs and it was all good.

now we have one week to live it up with them and spend time together before it's back to work time.

sacramento curse

so dave just went to the doctor cuz he has this super ugly rash on his left elbow and ring finger...we were thinking it was some kind of heat rash...apparently, it's shingles.

okay, so caleb got the chickenpox vaccine when he turned one...but brynna hasn't gotten it yet cuz they don't give it until one. so now i'm freaking out and googling everything i can find about shingles, its contagiousness, and chickenpox symptoms.

i just wanna cry.

so far, from what i've read, shingles is contagious through the blisters only...not through breathing on or sneezing near a child. i'm just worried, though...i mean, she's just a little baby whose immune system is not strong. if she gets chickenpox when i'm in sacramento, i'm going to crazy with worrying and being sad and not being able to take care of her.

this completely reminds me of last summer, when dave went to sacramento and i was home with the flu. i felt like crap, and more than that, i was soooo worried that i could have infected caleb. now i'm going to be worried until the incubation time period passes to see if brynna's been infected.

i know it's not dave's fault...but of course, my worry turns into irritation and frustration and it's taken out on him. goodness gracious. i'm waiting for brynna's doctor to call me to let me know what course of action to take...

freakin' loud

holy smokes, they're repaving our parking lot and it's hella loud...like uncomfortably loud....like my house is shaking, my ears are busting, my head is pounding. of course, brynna is asleep and caleb is outside with my mom, watching the action.

last week!!!!

woohoo!!!! it's the last week of summer school! even with dave and i taking turns going in, this week we both are at the point where we're over it. the extra pay, though, does help! i know dave won't want to teach again next summer, but part of me feels like we should because at least now we have our curriculum set...part of the humbug of this summer was figuring out what we were going to teach, how we were going to teach it, and then finding or making worksheets to go with the lessons. now that we've done it once and have a big binder full of organized lessons and worksheets (would have never happened if left to dave's organizational skills...), next summer would be super easy. we'll see. the extra pay is really, really, really good for us!!!

peace and quiet, please

brynna doesn't like loud sounds.

she gets startled when there's a loud sound, be it a sneeze, caleb's yelling, or the tv. oftentimes she'll start to cry hysterically when she gets scared. her sad face is sooooo sad.

brynna doesn't like to be jostled when eating.

caleb likes to climb up on the couch when we're feeding her...and not just onto the couch, but into the littlest space next to you or behind you. he often bangs her head in the process...and she does NOT appreciate it. she will start to scream angrily, which is not her usual temperament.

even when dave and i get into bed and she's sleeping in her crib...she startles a little and moves around.

when brynna wakes up at 4 a.m. and it's peaceful and quiet, she'll quickly drink her milk in about ten minutes and go back to sleep. when she has to eat during the day and there's all kinds of ruckus going on, she will take her time eating, often stopping and having to burp and taking an entire hour's time before she finishes her bottle.

i think she may just enjoy her time at grandma and grandpa colmenares' house without the loud little boy disturbing her.

scaredy cat

caleb is a scaredy cat.

today we bought him a motorized toothbrush because it was on sale at longs. dave tried to brush his teeth with it tonight...and he cried. screamed and cried and held on tight cuz he was so scared.

when the vacuum cleaner goes on, he gets scared. he used to run and cry. now he sits on the couch and starts getting all anxious when i get near him.

when the blow dryer goes on, he gets scared. he doesn't cry, but will run away if i blow him with it.

he's obviously scared of the doctor and dentist. screams bloody murder even when they aren't doing anything.

he's scared of the car wash. cries and gets all nutts when we go through it.

i'm not sure how to relieve his fears....he's just an overall emotionally charged guy...very excitable, stubborn, and fearful. and since he's so damn loud, his emotional outbursts are that much more vivid.

of course, his happy times are that much more happy too, though. not an even-keeled kind of guy. lol. just like his mommy.