I had to share this picture...first because it's pretty, second because my uploading the photo and typing this blog takes me away from the task I'm really supposed to be doing, which is correcting work. I finished one assignment so I figured that gave me a reason to stop correcting for a little bit and do something off task. Washing, bagging, and then cutting up these strawberries kept me off task for quite some time too. Funny how I can be motivated to do things that I would otherwise avoid when the alternative is reading the kids' work.

I think Caleb is having hiccups right now. I read about feeling hiccups, but I'm not really sure how to differentiate between hiccups and regular moving around and kicking. In fact, I can't really differentiate any of his movements. For the most part, I think the hardest ones are kicks, but who knows, it may be headbutts or his fists. All I know is that he's super active...at night, but also throughout the day. I can readily see him moving around even when I'm sitting upright now.

Today at the doctor's, which took all of 10 minutes, I weighed in at freakin' 125 1/2. In fact, it was probably closer to 126, but the nurse heard my cry of protest and stopped it there. I told the doctor that I think it was because I was wearing jeans so it made me heavier. Dangit. He just said that I gotta remember I'll have to lose it later on. My last check up, a month ago, I was 117. Frick. I have to chill out on the over eating or something. Some exercise would probably help too. Yea, I'll say this for a day, then I'll go back to my regular habits.

Next doctor we'll do the blood test for glucose. Well, actually, I gotta do the drink the glucola or whatever it's called and do my blood test at the lab, then we'll get the results at the next doctor's appointment in three weeks. Hope that one is good cuz otherwise I'm going to have to have some major willpower (which I lack, when it comes to food and satisfying myself) to watch what I eat cuz there's no way I'm sticking a fat needle in my body.

piko

Today I got two comments about looking pregnant...not offensive comments, just comments. And it's true...I look at myself in the mirror and am amazed at my pregnant belly!

Dave and I noticed the other night as we were watching Caleb move around that when I laugh my piko pokes out. It's so weird. And my linea negra (or however you spell it...that dark ugly trail to happiness pregnant women get) has expanded from the bottom half and is moving up toward the top half now too.

After being so happy that pregnancy has finally made me actually doodoo more, not less, I got a bit stopped up and hard doodoos made me get hemorrhoids...gross. And painful. Oh well. I don't think that's just a pregnancy thing, though, since it's been happening for a long time.

I know I'll probably think differently of this after actually going through labor, but I was thinking of how Blake and Stacie had their c-section today, and how since it was planned, she didn't really go through the different stages of labor. I actually kind of look forward to what will happen...how Dave and I will handle it...how much pain tolerance I actually have. Yes, I'll kick myself in the rear for saying this later on, but that's what I think as of right now.

Someone put a From Labor To Conception magazine in my box, and the pictures of each month's development are awesome. I sit and look at the magazine and am in awe that Caleb looks like a full on human being now. Thanks to whoever gave it to me.

I ate Korean food tonight and when I asked the lady if the miso soup was spicy she told me, "Yes, no good for the baby." So I told her that I love spicy and she said, "Okay, medium spicy only then." And when I chose seaweed as one of my choices, she nodded and said, "That one's good." Pretty funny. Then I proceeded to fill my cup with Coke and feel paranoid that people are looking at a pregnant lady drinking Coke. Too bad. She also guessed that I was having a boy and said it's because my stomach is all in the front. She said she had two girls and her stomach big all around. Such interesting tidbits.

HOT and DREAM-Y

I need a new, bigger fan in my classroom. I can't stand this heat. It's like it's radiating out of my body. And I'm wearing half-shoes today, with socks, so I'm sure that doesn't help the situation but it is definitely more comfortable, and after feeling the sciatica pains again last night, I want to do anything I can to ease my back pain.

I've been having the most vivid, weird dreams lately. I think these dreams are making me not have that good of a sleep cuz I swear it's like I'm up most of the night with my brain going so much. The other night my dream was part Twilight/part I Am Legend/part Harry Potter. I got up all scared, then went back to sleep and proceeded to have a Boyz in the Hood dream with people from my past and random black characters. Last night my dream was that it was 4th of July (watched the Jon and Kate 4th of July episode earlier that night), Dave and I were picking up tons of meat from this place, my stepmom made this big cookout, and then Tash, Dave, and I were staying at this hotel and going to watch a Jody Watley concert (that part was due to J's comment about Jody Watley earrings or something like that on a previous blog). And in one part of the dream there were all these blue folders balancing on the staircase railings and Tash and I dropped them all. It's so weird.

grouchy

Here's some things I'm grouchy about...

• ten seconds of music, followed by thirty seconds of blahblahblah announcements whose message could have been delivered in five seconds
• being asked stupid questions by stupid people who could easily figure the answer out by themselves if they actually was doing their job
• that kids don't even know basic parts of speech, like nouns, verbs, adjectives, and adverbs so that what is supposed to take just a little review time takes the entire freakin' class period...wasted
• that it's so freakin' hot
  

Wow, that's all I can think of right now. I thought I was grouchy about more. I better go sleep now so I can keep my list short!

Week 25

Caleb's over a pound and about 9 inches long now. We go to the doctor again on Friday. He's an active little boy, moving around at all times...especially at night when I'm lying down. He kicks/hits hard, and I know that he's far from his full size, but I can't imagine what he's going to do to my stomach and bladder as he gets bigger...they already feel like they're squished beyond belief by my big uterus.

sports

I am not a sports-hater, but the degree to which I love sports and the degree to which Dave LOVES sports differs...wonder if it will be something that we disagree on with our kids...

I know Dave wants our kids to play sports because of what it taught him in life...and I respect that, and want our kids to play sports too...I envision them being soccer players and runners, like their dad, since I have no athletic abilities at all. Maybe if we have a daughter and I pass on my short gene to her, she can do gymnastics like I once aspired to do.

However, I do wonder what will happen when/if it comes down to which is more important...like with this Little League Baseball thing...I dunno why, but it just irked the crap out of me to find out that one of my students wouldn't be in school until the latter part of August (this coming week) because he was in the mainland for BASEBALL. Now, granted, they're doing wonderful, it's a once-in-a-lifetime experience, yadayadayada...but then I start to think...if I were the parents of these kids, what would I do? Would I take off from work, take the entire family up there, and spend weeks in the mainland for my kid's dream? Would dad just go? Would I be at the school getting work for the kid, making him make sure he gets it done before he comes back to school, and then making sure he does everything possible to make it up when he gets back? Or would I let him revel in this dream come true and figure that the life lessons he's learning are bigger than the school work he's missing? I dunno...but the idea of these kids missing the first month of school just somehow doesn't sit well with me. I know most people would disagree and that these kids will now ride the celebrity wave here in Hawaii...I dunno why it makes me so uneasy.

Anyways, the commercial just said, "Football is here." Grrrreat. Our tv has been set to Olympics for the past three weeks, now it'll be set to every freakin' football game imaginable, with the five million time replays on ESPN. Love it.

Heehee. Chrystal (man, I'm sorry if I misspelled the name!) told me today, "Man, Amy, you're so small." The little oompa-loompa in me didn't know what to say or how to respond...because I was thinking she was talking about my height. Nobody really ever tells me I'm so small...I figure it's just a given. But of course, she was talking about my belly. I had to laugh as we walked away...I felt like the biggest dummy ever.

Bryan Clay...

This is Dave. Just saw Bryan Clay on TV. That guy is seriously living my dream. I'm glad that he won, but dang..I can't believe that I just used to run with this guy during summer track and here he is, "the greatest athlete in the world." He was just this kid that really wanted to run and learn as much as he could about track. I still remember him asking me how to set his mark for a relay we were about to do. He used to tell me (when he was a freshman) that he couldn't play football because his mom was scared that he would get injured (just like my mom). My friends and I used to think that his dreams of becoming a world-class athlete were admirable (those were our dreams too) but just unattainable. Next thing I know, I find out from his coach that he's doing pole vaults, discus, and all that because now he wants to be a decathlete. I was like, "What?...Dang." I saw him win race after race while I was an assistant coach for McKinley, and just thought, "Wow..that guy learned a whole lot." It's been just 10 years since I last saw him run and since he graduated from high school and here he is...an Olympic gold medalist. Talk about determination and drive. I know there are a lot of athletes that have a fast track in becoming the best, but never thought of actually "seeing" it unfold. I know I wasn't there to see all his races and his practices, but to see where he was before and to see where he is now is amazing. I know it sounds like I'm pumping him up, but that guy truly deserves it. I guess dreams ARE that powerful. Caleb's gonna have to beat Jacob Clay one day...or at least meet him so I can tell his dad, "Thanks for being an inspiration."

Isn't this the gayest post ever??..lol

HOT!!

I'm sure it's been hot for everyone, especially today, but for me it has been excrutiatingly HOT. My classroom is like an oven, ten degrees hotter than outside in the walkway. Even with 2 wall fans and 3 stand fans, plus my little personal fan blowing at me at all times, I still sweat like a pig. I swear, I'm going to get sweat marks by my butt and thighs with how hot I've been. Today, during the period after lunch, which is always the worst, I probably made a little pool of sweat on my seat...and though I can aim the fan strategically, I can't exactly have it pointing right THERE without the kids noticing something funny. I think it's time for me to upgrade from that mini fan I have to a bigger one cuz it's just not cutting it. At night I have to use my little Vornado faced at my unclothed body, and now that Dave is sick I can't turn on the ceiling fan so that sucks big time. I just want the weather to cool down already, but I know that's not going to happen for a few months...if ever.

hard at work...

I just wanted you guys to get a glimpse of Dave, hard at work, winning his baseball season.

Week 24

Sorry for the delay....look at the size of my tummy now! It's amazing how it POPS all of a sudden. Weird. But according to the books, Caleb is over a pound now, his features are pretty much developed, and he can hear, see (lights), and feel stuff more. He's covered with this waxy thing so he doesn't look like a raisin when he comes out and he has hair, but the color is not defined yet.

no pic today...we forgot to take one this morning so we'll try to remember tomorrow.

Dave's new favorite song is, "I'm a little teapot, short and stout." I'm going to kill him.

Yesterday I picked up some maternity panties from Old Navy. Dave's advice was to pick up a pack of smalls and a pack of mediums. We washed them tonight, and as I was folding them, Dave commented, "What the heck is that? Is that yours? Ho, I can fit um." I'm really going to kill him.

He's so dang sensitive it's not even funny. He really knows what to say to make me feel better about being LARGE.

culture

Tonight we went to the 4th Annual Lapu Lapu Award Dinner hosted by the Congress of Visayan Organizations. Dave's dad is big into the Filipino community, so we often go to these events that he is always a coordinator of. It's funny because when you're around them, Dave's mom is the more dominant vocal person, but Dave's dad is the one who is involved in all these organizations, fundraisers, ceremonies, parades, and dinners. Anyways, Dave's entire family, minus him, has won one of these Lapu Lapu awards, so either he'll continue to be the odd man out in his highly prestigious family, or he'll succumb to the pressure and try to win one of these awards too.

I have to admit that I HATE going to these dinner things...beyond the free food, it's nothing that I would want to participate in myself. Granted, once we're there the entertainment is usually pretty cool and it's interesting to look around at all these people in their Filipino grab, but beyond that, I would rather stay home.

First of all, I never know exactly what will be appropriate to wear...you always know when you go to one of these things, though, that there will be women in full on gowns and at least one couple wearing jeans and looking totally out of place. Dave and I strive to be in the middle somewhere. Tonight, however, finding a dress that still fits my ever growing body was kind of a challenge. Luckily it only took three tries or we might have ended up staying home.

Secondly, tonight has got to be the FIRST night that someone has NOT asked, "Oh, are you the son that went to Harvard?" Dave always has to explain that no, he's not that son...he's the other son. It always is half funny, half irritating to me. The reason no one asked tonight is because we were seated next to Dave's mom and on the other side of me was a couple who I'm pretty sure didn't have that good a grasp of English. Usually we get stuck making small talk to some random people.

Anyways, while we were there Dave said that he's sure his dad will pull him aside someday and remind him to instill a love of his Filipino culture in Caleb. Dave's dad is probably very disappointed in Dave's lack of Filipino-ness. He longs for the day when Dave will become interested in being an active member of the Filipino community...I think he still dreams that Dave will continue on his path.

I do wonder what kind of cultural traditions baby Caleb will grow up with. And I do worry that we are so "localized" that he won't have any strong Japanese or Filipino cultural traditions that he'll remember when he gets to be an adult. I even wonder what kind of foods he'll like...I haven't learned to cook Filipino foods, don't eat halo halo, bibingka, and cascaron. Dave will eat it, but he doesn't know how to cook it either. He won't have the luxury of both parents speaking a different language to learn from. I wonder if Caleb will learn how to speak any Visayan...will he even know Japanese at all? I'm sure he won't go to Japanese school like I did, he won't go to a Buddhist Sunday school like I did, he won't even go to a preschool affiliated with a Japanese church like I did. My parents are more local than old school Japanese so he won't even get it from them. And I'm not even thinking about his Chinese fourth...how will he even know anything about being Chinese? It'll be interesting...

cravings

I think the question I get most frequently is, "So, what are you craving?" And I always have to think of what it is that I have been craving. My answer is usually, "Nothing." And I really wonder, do I really crave nothing, or do I just not remember that I craved something, which is a big possibility.

I think overall what I crave is FOOD. Different things, at different times. I think it was worse during my first trimester, actually. I remember craving lemonade slushie and shrimp pad thai for a while. But that ended. I don't think I particularly crave anything, but I am starting to find that I'm hungry more often. Like tonight, we went to a Filipino awards dinner thing at the Hilton (that's a whole other blog entry in itself). I ate all my salad, all my dinner (except I gave the fish to Dave), and then we came home and I warmed me up some Campbell's Vegetable soup. I wasn't craving it, but I was a little hungry so I looked in the pantry cuz I knew I wanted something hot, and I saw a can of soup so I made that.

So peeps that are around me a lot, try to help me remember what I'm craving...if I am craving anything!

erupting belly button

Recently I have noticed that my belly button area is sore. I have several theories on why this is occuring...

1) Obviously, my belly is stretching beyond belief.
2) My piko is erupting and pushing it's former innie-self out, causing discomfort.
3) My piko-ring puka, which is closed but still a scar, is stretching itself open again with the stretching of my belly.
4) All of the above.


Other thoughts....

I just will never understand the lure of video games. As I type this, I watch Dave triumphantly win his baseball game...he played FOUR games tonight while I was at my bible group. I don't get it. He played so much playstation that he didn't eat dinner. NO game would ever take precedence over EATING to me, but I guess it does for Dave. He actually told me this morning, that he was excited for the end of the day because he knew he would be able to come home and play his game, and he said he's been having visions of swinging bats because he hasn't played for so long. He even skipped going to basketball and playing a real live game, to be able to come home and play video games. Granted, he had cross country practice first, but still. He promised that he would cut his hair while I was gone, but I still see chia pet on his head.

Thank goodness for no school tomorrow. Today was so muggy and gross that I was busting a sweat going around to write grades in the planner and pass papers back. I told my kids that it is getting harder and harder to breathe.

This morning as we were driving to school I noticed I had a puka in my shirt, right around the belly button area. Luckily, my lanyard and ID covered it, but after I took it off and went to the bathroom, I realized my white belly was showing through the puka in my black shirt.

Although I know sleeping on my side is the best, I can't keep that position throughout the night. And it's so dang hot that when I lie against the body pillow, I get all sweaty. But if I put the fan blowing straight at me, then lose my blanket in the night, I get cold or sore. Can't win.

heartburn?

I have this feeling in the back of my throat...like a food-is-stuffed-up-to-there and it's ready to come out acid tasting air. Is that what heartburn is? If it is, it sucks.

Blake said today that Stacie has only gained EIGHT pounds through her pregnancy...how freakin' depressing is that??? My weight gain started the week I found out I was pregnant and I continued to eat as though there was no tomorrow for most of my first trimester. This second trimester I've tried to tone it down a bit, and being that I feel like my stomach has become smaller, the eating choke has kind of stopped. But still, I've gained at least 12 pounds already...and I know it'll be at least 15 pounds by the time we go to the next doctor's appointment. I put on a dress today, which I thought looked really nice pre-pregnancy, but now I look like a fat whale with it on. And the sad part is, it's not like those cutesy little freaks who only look pregnant when you look at them straight on...my whole back is obviously pregnant too. For those who've known me for a while, you know my obsessiveness with the whole weight thing. I've fluctuated through the years from freshman year at college ridiculousness at around 117, to depression ridiculousness at about 94. I'm most comfortable at around 103...so my current 118ish makes me a little scared, especially knowing that I still have a LONG time before baby is born, and the books keep saying expect to gain about a pound a week from now on. Granted, baby Caleb finally weighs about a pound, which is cool, but still...

Dave and I are going to take a walk now. Heehee.

Week 23

Woohoo. Look at that round tummy. And that's first thing in the morning...you should see it at the end of the day!

getting more stuff...

Wow, babies need a lot of STUFF!! Now we have:

• crib/mattress
• Rainforest crib sheet and blanket
  
• bureau
• storage bins
• stroller/car seat
• bouncer
• rocker/ottoman

We bought the stroller/car seat and bouncer (in the RAINFOREST design that we both LOVE) off of Craigslist...now, for those who know me, I'm not a big fan of recycling stuff (I mean, I am a recycler, but I don't like to use used stuff like books, beds, etc.), but the prices of new vs. used were too good to pass up. The Combi travel system on babiesrus was $350; the one we bought was $95. The bouncer goes for about $50; ours, $25. Now granted, if we had gone to look at the stuff and the place was all bus' and the people were gross, I wouldn't have bought it, but it was a beautiful house in Mililani Mauka, which was immaculately decorated in obviously expensive Japanese samurai-ish decor (seriously, like had the full Last Samurai suit thingy on display, plus a sword framed on the wall)...and the peeps were Japanese/Chinese, so I got a good vibe. Ask my mom...I was traumatized by almost having to ride to gymnastics in an "American" person's filthy, dog hair covered, stink butt car. I literally cried until my mom drove me herself. It's her fault for making me anal about things like that anyways.

So, Dave is now trying to figure out how all these things work together (putting the car seat in the stroller, figuring out how to open and close the stroller, seeing how the base attaches in the car). I guess I gotta learn those things too, but I'm not into it right now.

BTW, Dave made his second dinner tonight. Granted, it was Hamburger Helper, but at least it's another meal he can cook on his own.

tired!

This past week was our first full week of school...and though I didn't realize it during the early part of the week, by the end of the week I was feeling the full effects of being TIRED. Granted, I feel way more alive and awake than I did during the first trimester, but I'm not looking forward to the third trimester when I'm told the tired-ness moves to another level as you lug around all the extra weight. I think my weekends will have to be filled with naps...yesterday I just couldn't help myself and fell asleep hard while Tash and Dave watched Olympics. Then last night after my shower I crashed hard again. Right now, I feel like a nap is necessary if I'm going to get through dinner. Goodness.

Dave needs to learn how to cook because I'm getting less enthusiastic about doing all the cooking around here. Tonight he's going to make chicken stir fry (I figure that's simple enough, especially if I cut up the vegetables for him) for dinner since his parents are coming over. I'm just too lazy.

K-den, time for a nap.

stretching...

Yesterday, for the first time, I started to feel like my stomach was stretched beyond capacity. It felt like my skin was going to burst and everything was super tight. I understand that it's going to get even worse, but I just can't imagine how. We better be more conscientious about putting that lotion on my stomach...not that I truly believe it will help with stretch marks, but just to trick my mind into not worrying about it so much.

So I found out the other day that I might not be able to take off as much as I wanted to (the whole second semester) and still get paid. Some DOE bull...I gotta still find out for sure what the deal is, but if what I was told is true and I can't "trick" the system somehow (or get over my moral dilemma with that idea), I may be back in either 3rd quarter or 4th quarter. Right now the idea of coming back doesn't phase me too much...it bums me out a little bit, but in a way I kind of like the idea of finishing the year out with my kids.

As far as what happens after that...that's still a question mark too. Dave hasn't tried to check with the Resident Manager yet...the Association was supposed to have their meeting at the end of June, but we haven't heard yet if they have given us approval to do baby-sitting in our unit. If that falls through, I'm not sure what we're going to do. We can't afford to live on one salary, so it's either that I'd have to get some other job where I work at night or something, break the rules and babysit "nieces and nephews," or give up my dream of staying at home. Ah, God has a plan for us, so whatever happens, happens.

SORE!!!

Yesterday I wore my crappy Longs brand no arch support slippers to school and I freakin' paid the price. I think my pain tolerance is pretty good, after all, my childhood dentist fixed all my cavities without numbing my mouth ever, but yesterday was unbearable. My back and butt were super sore by the end of the day...came home and sat around (I actually have to sit at the table now and put my legs up instead of on the floor at my Japanese table), but it didn't help. I took a warm shower to try to ease the pain, but as I lie in bed, every little movement hurt like heck. After about an hour I tried to get out of bed to go use the bathroom...and I freakin' couldn't stand, let alone walk. I actually fell down...and it was too sore to stand myself up. I crawled to the bathroom (Dave wasn't home...freakin' on his dang boyscapade) and pulled myself up on the door frame, used the bathroom, then balanced myself on the counter until the pain started to get bearable. I went back to bed, and when Dave came home he helped me up again and I walked around. I was scared I would wake up this morning not able to walk, but though there was still pain, it was better.

So today I wore shoes, which was better, but my feet still hurt like heck and I swear shoes make me waddle even more. We went to Ala's to try to buy some Crocs, but of course they don't have the size I wear except in fluorescent pink. So we headed to Macy's and even though I fully don't believe in buying shoes (besides athletic shoes) that cost more than $20, I bought non-sale Calisto slide on wedges. I'll pay for the price of comfort after what happened last night.

Week 22

I'm sure hoping it cools down soon...night sucks because I'm so super hot, and being in my classroom, especially after lunch, is killer. Even with a fan blowing directly at me, everything gets sticky and sweaty. Yuck.

One of my kids told me today that "It's weird to have a pregnant teacher." I never really though about it before, but like Leish said, I guess they DO know how a person gets pregnant, and what's even more weird is that they know WHO I got pregnant from! Heehee.

stuff...

Someday I'll figure out how to scan pictures into my computer and then I'll put up the ultrasound pics we got....wanna help me with that, tech-savvy Leish or Deena???

Anyways, for the first time today, while looking at the magic eye pictures (also known as ultrasound pics), my magic eyes focused correctly and I can see the baby's face!!!!! Besides feeling the first kicks, that has got to be the coolest thing ever!!! My baby LOOKS like a BABY!!!! Pretty nutts. I dunno if any of you have seen Dave and my D&B morph pics, but if you have, you'll understand why I'm so concerned about what our baby will actually look like.

Speaking of nutts...I am just trippin' on just how much this baby moves around. I can feel him all the time now...sitting down, during class, walking around, and especially lying down. He goes nutts sometimes (reminds me of me getting CRAZY when Dave strolls to the car on a Friday after basketball!!!! hehe) and seems like he's doing some somersaults and ninja kicks. It's cool. Dave gets to feel it all the time and my dad and Tash got to feel it today.

After not seeing JJ for three weeks (maybe a little bit more), I am more determined than ever to not be separated from my baby for even just a night. The changes that have occurred in JJ in just three weeks...he's bigger, stronger, and even his cries and facial expressions are different!
I can't wait for my own Caleb to be here...