haha...so God knew my tongue was out of control today...cuz right now, that's what Pastor Wayne is talking about. I don't usually watch channel two news cuz i think it sucks, but I just so happened to watch it tonight, and New Hope came on right after news. Well...control my tongue...that's my goal for this week.

Things I took for GRANTED before Caleb...

• sleep
• easy traveling
• washing only adult dishes
• leaving my crap wherever I wanted
• wires
• eating out
• bocha time
• everything

Things I wonder how we'll manage with Caleb AND Baby...

• sleep
• traveling
• bottles
• diapers
• bocha time
• having any kind of life

Things I can't imagine life without now...

• Caleb's cutest little smiles
• his open mouth kisses (when he feels like it!)
• being able to snuggle him and smell his baby smell
• seeing his unreal development day after day
  

I wouldn't trade parenthood for anything, but as we traveled back to Oahu yesterday, on a full plane at 10:05 p.m., not sitting together because I made our flight late and never have seats together already, I thought about how easy going to Maui used to be. I would NEVER have to check a bag, much less a suitcase AND a carseat...I could easily and comfortably get to the airport an hour ahead of time and feel secure that I'd get to my gate on time...stops at the counter NEVER had to happen with online checkin and no bags...I never had to feel sore stomach before getting on the plane cuz of wondering what Caleb would be like and if we'd be "those people" with the screaming, out of control baby.

I can't even imagine what taking him to California is going to be like this summer...and Brynna will be with us too! CRAZY.

Countdown...14 weeks...nutts...

took a 2 hour nap today....thought i'd be up all night...but it's now 8:23 and i'm super tired again...what the heck?

weight at dr's on friday (end week 25)...134...up 7 lbs from the previous week. i was 141 at the end of my pregnancy with caleb. gotta go do the gestational diabetes test before the next dr's and he said to watch my diet so i don't gain too much. grrreat.

so freakin' heartburn-y. i feel nauseous tonight too..dunno why.

my right hand is often numb now...don't remember having that with caleb, but read it's normal.

sleeping is uncomfortable.

brynna moves around more now...noticed her first bout of hiccups today. she isn't kicking me and punching me violently like caleb did, but i expect that she will by the end.

Before I go nene and put this to rest for good, I have to write it out...

Today my kids pissed me off. I haven't been this pissed off at them for a while. I literally HATED them today. I HATED their attitude toward life in general. I HATED their complacency and apathy.

3 of my 5 classes had homework over the weekend (the other two finished the work in class cuz we had an extra day with them last week). They had to freakin' finish their worksheet...which we started in class...we read and discussed the article and went over every single question together...they just had to finish it...

Period 1 - 8 out of 26
Period 2 - 2 out of 13
Period 5 - 7 out of 19

Piss me off. I gave them my lecture, with the whole, "I cannot believe you guys...it sickens me...this is ridiculous...it's not about one assignment, it's about the attitude you have toward life..." I made eye contact and gave them the full on disappointed look. How many of them are thinking about it right now or even attempting to do their damn homework??? Maybe 3...if I'm lucky.

WTF???? I asked my mom how she knew I was doing my homework when I was in school...she said she didn't. Dave said his parents didn't really get on his case about it either. So why did we do what we had to do???? Cuz our parents struck the fear into us early on...if we didn't do what we were supposed to do, we would get lickens.

Lickens solves all evils...lol. But for reals, an occasional beat down, in my opinion, works. I got lickens (mainly slaps on the face, pinches on the arm or wherever, and punches on the arm) until I was a freshman in college, and I bet if I acted super stupid, my mom would still hit me today. Dave got lickens...the kine with the belt and whatever else could be found. Did we act dumb? Sometimes, but not to the extent where we were totally off the right path in life...

So...Caleb and Baby...expect some lickens in your life...cuz I am NOT going to have a child who acts like some of these damn kids do...my kids are gonna have the fear struck in them...lol.

Caleb just had a fit trying to go to bed. He cried for about 15-20 minutes...vigorously. When I was trying to read to him, he didn't want to listen...he wanted to get up and play more. And when I picked him up to hold him for a little bit before I put him down in the crib, he already started fighting me and crying so I just put him down and walked out. I think he's realizing that he's "missing out" when it's sleep time so he's starting to fight it more. Geez.

He's so funny...he "learned" to do the okole in the air with his hands and feet on the ground, looking at his toes thing. It's so cute. He also, when he wants to, will open mouth kiss you if you ask for a kiss and pucker your lips. It was funny today because he open mouth kisses me, then when Dave leans in for his kiss Caleb sticks out his tongue to lick him. Lol.

On Saturday he makes 11 months...nutts.

Okay, so I'm HUGE....many, many, many comments about how HUGE I am today. Jeez, it was the tight shirt, okay!!! Nah, I'm HUGE...it's ridiculous. We gotta remember to slather on that lotion cuz I'm scared I'm going to get a whole lot of stretch marks this time around. I saw Kate's stomach on the show from last night (the one prior to the tummy tuck) and that made me scared!!!

I have 16 more weeks...16 more weeks to get more big than big. Grrreat. Lol. Whatever, it's all good.

Holy smokes my feet and legs are hella swollen by the end of the day. I'm sure they were like this with Caleb, but I just trip out when I look at my legs after school and realize what fat sausages they are. Actually, I know they must have been pretty swollen with Caleb cuz a fellow teacher commented on HOW swollen they were with Caleb (frick...).

My back also hurts like heck. I dunno if it's cuz of my bad posture too, but by the time i get in bed at night, I'm dying. I'm loving, though, that the weather is cooling down and "winter" is settling in...nights are nice...with the fan still blowing, of course.

Hard to imagine it's my 24th week...16 more to go and then NO MORE BEING PREGNANT EVER AGAIN for me...lol!!!!

This is a vent session, so if you're not interested, don't read on...nothing to do with path to parenthood...everything to do with needing to release this irritation before I explode...

I'm so effin hella irritated right now...tiredness has a lot to do with it...it's 7:45 p.m. and I'm ready to get into bed and just freakin' go to sleep so my pissy-ness doesn't erupt.

I know I'm preaching to the choir cuz most of the people who read this are WOMEN who I'm sure have similar situations...

Everyday seems to be a never ending chore...there's always something that needs to be done...by me...

Now granted, I do have a husband who will help when asked to...and therein lies part of my pissed-offed-ness. I don't think husbands realize that the fact that you have to think about what they have to do so you can tell them what to do only adds to your list of things to do...

Today we got home a little bit later than usual because we left school later and had to stop at the market to get some last minute stuff for dinner...so by the time we got home it was already about 4:30.

Before I can start cooking, I need things in order...so I wash the dishes and bottles so that the sink area is clean for me to begin.

Bought a big tray of hamburger from Sam's so that had to be dealt with....separated, bagged, put in the freezer.

Started cooking the hamburger, cutting up the mushrooms, onion, bell pepper, and portuguese sausage. Finished the sauce, on to the noodles. Spaghetti is not a difficult dinner...but standing there for about 1/2 hour getting everything together gets tiring....my feet are sore, I'm tired, I just wanna sit and relax.

Finished dinner, ate. After dinner, chill for a bit, then dishes have to be done because I can't get Caleb's meals ready with the dishes all over the place.

Finish the dishes...decide to make Caleb's meals...and instead of just using the jar food, I remember that I have apples that need to be used so I figure I'll puree' those for his breakfast instead. Dumb me...cuz that means cutting up the apples, peeling them, and processing them in the food processor thing. In the meantime, I figure out lunch tomorrow which will be egg salad sandwich cuz Dave has tutoring at lunch so it has to be something easy, portable, and preferably not needing microwaving. So the eggs go on to boil while I finish up Caleb's meals.

Making Caleb's meals means making dishes, so it's time to wash yet again.

Bocha time...get Caleb's tub, set it up, get myself ready to bocha since I jump in the tub with him. Waiting to see how long it will take Dave to get his ass off the computer to come and help. In the meantime, since it always seems the case that when I'm getting pissy more things start to go wrong, I position the shower hose in Caleb's tub so that I can grab him and take off his diaper....what does the hose do?? Freakin' spray out of the tub, onto Caleb's head and the bathroom counter/drawers. Dave finally comes after hearing my scream, and can't seem to figure out what happened, though why he can't figure it out with Caleb would be dripping with water while standing outside the tub with his diaper on is beyond me.

We bocha, I'm pissed so I remain silent, and then when Dave wants a hug, I refuse and he proceeds to get mad at ME for being mad...wtf???

So bocha is pau, Dave takes Caleb to put his clothes on, I go to put my clothes on. I come out of the bedroom, and what is my wonderful husband doing??? Back on the damn computer. I give him the stinkest possible eye and move back into the kitchen to finish up making our lunch.

Seriously...I'm tired. I expressed that I was tired. Can a brutha figure out what the hell to do to be helpful around here??? Sheez. And don't even begin to think that the whole time this is going on, he's watching Caleb...cuz he's not. In fact, I tell him how ridiculous it looks when he's intently staring at the computer, one hand on the mouse, the other hand trying to make noise with Caleb's toy to "entertain" him.

Whew....I feel better. I'm going to go brush my teeth, give Caleb some milk, brush his teeth, read to him, and put his ass in bed...then I'm going to get in bed, read my bible so I can hopefully get some words of wisdom to calm me down some more, and then maybe I'll calmly talk to Dave about what pisses me off.

Is Caleb going to turn out to be a little brat??? He's a tempermental mofo right now...has been for a while now...and I just wonder...does that signal future tantrums, breakdowns, stubborn behaviors, and insubordination??

Here are some examples of his "tantrums"

• yell
• scream
• arch his back
• kick his legs
• throw stuff
  
• hit
  
• scratch

We don't know if this is normal behavior for his age, him exerting more independence, or him being a spoiled brat. He's rough...he likes to push things over, fling things around, throw things...is that just being a boy, or is that being a little butt?

I really wonder what life is going to be like with a little girl...will she be polar opposites of Caleb, will they like each other, will he show a gentle side with his little sister? If he treats her anything like he treats us, we're going to have to keep him away because he'll scratch and slap the heck out of her! 4 months and she'll be here...nutts...

the shishi and the shishi squirts are ridiculous.