parenthood...

i just read an article about seven things they never tell new parents and it got me to thinking...

i can't really remember how dave and i felt before caleb was born....like the anxiety and excitement. i know we felt pretty clueless, and still do most of the time. if i could go back to that time, i wonder if anything anyone said would have made any difference.

everyone says that nothing can prepare you for baby. it's true. nothing could have prepared me for the sheer panic of having this little baby (okay, caleb was never a little baby, but you know what i mean) that you are solely responsible for. leaving the hospital is scary...you wanna stay there where you at least have the comfort of trained professionals helping you along.

nothing prepares you for sleeping no more than an hour straight for days on end. nothing prepares you for an incessantly crying baby who you can't console. nothing can prepare you for the pain/frustration of breastfeeding, or the feelings of guilt/failure if you can't and have to bottle feed. nothing can prepare you for the hormonal imbalance you go through after birthing a child. nothing can prepare you for the pain of childbirth, or the afterpains of childbirth.

sounds so scary, right? it is. and although i haven't magically forgotten the pains, like so many moms say is what happens, i would gladly go through all of those pains to have these two in my life. that first time baby smiles at you, when you realize that nothing but your touch/smell/sound can soothe your baby, holding your sleeping baby and looking at their calm, peaceful, contentedness...it's all worth it.

watching the development of these two little people, who started off as little fuzzies in the ultrasound picture, is awe-inspiring...having them is the best kind of scary ever.