sad

last night we went to wal-mart and i ran into one of my most memorable students yet. he was from one of my first years of teaching and i just adored this little pain in the butt. he's blackanese, and i think my being japanese and little reminded him of his mom so i became a surrogate mom in school. he was such an immature, emotional little guy and i spent many after school days helping him with science, math, english, whatever. we'd often drop him off at home, and stop at mcdonalds on the way to get him something small to eat since sometimes his mom wasn't home yet. he didn't want to go home one day after tutoring and i had to call my counselor to help me figure out how to get him home.

he's 21 now. isn't that crazy??? he ended up at job corps to get his diploma, and has finally settled himself in a job at home depot, which he seems to enjoy. it's sooooo weird to see this little guy bigger than me, and i think it's a trip for him to see me and dave married with kids (he had dave for pe and says that dave bullied him and he has repressed memories of dave's torment...lol!).

it was so nice to see him...but it also got me a little bit sad. i don't have that kind of relationship with my kids anymore. i dunno if it's because he was in a small class that i bonded with because i had them for two periods. i dunno if it's the two periods that lent itself to being closer to my kids. i just feel sad that i don't have that kind of relationship with any of my kids anymore...and it feels like i haven't had that kind of relationship with any kids for a while. the last class i feel like i kind of had those kinds of relationships with are the kids who are seniors now...that makes me sad. it really makes me want to cry.

it's something i gotta think about more...why don't i have that kind of relationship with my kids anymore???