I hate my fat stomach. It's so round already...what the heck??? That's what I get for not letting my abdominal muscles mend. I know I'm going to complain about it a lot...and then Dave's going to get busted cuz his answer is, "Well, you're pregnant, what do you expect? What do you want to do about it?" Lol.

I feel bloated. No barfing today, some dry heaves, though. I don't feel so wonderful, but that could be due to exhaustion and gas too.

Caleb bit me last night...he bit my chin and it was actually sore! He's been doing this cute little kiss thing...open mouth, of course! Lol. He likes to french kiss mommy.

Soooo, after not barfing yesterday, I thought the previous day was just a fluke and figured maybe I don't really have dreaded morning sicknes...nope...ate breakfast today, took my prenatal pill, and barfed. Yuck. I'm just wondering how it's going to work when school starts...the bathroom is not that close...I guess I could run over to k2...I'll just pray hard that God lets me at least have these bouts of barfing before school starts, at recess, and during lunch or after school...lol.

It's so hella hot these days...and I noticed when we went in for registration day that one of my stand fans is all bus' so I may have to replace it...and though it's not frugal to spend money on fans for my classroom, in the long run, for sanity's sake, i think it will be a good investment.

Caleb's taking a nap right now...yesterday he didn't nap in the early evening, was super tired, and went down at 7:30...which made for the early wake up time this morning. So I'm hoping that this evening nap will help him to stay up until 9 so he can wake up a little bit later.

Last official day of summer tomorrow...nutts. Gotta figure out lunches for me, Dave, and my mom...and actually plan a little bit too...lol. I have barely thought about school at all this summer...never went into my class until registration on Friday...my mind is just not there at all...

What the hell am I doing up at 5:30 a.m. on a Sunday morning?????

Caleb....brutha went to sleep at 7:30 p.m. last night because he refused to take an early evening nap and was hella tired...so of course, he's now up at the crack of dawn...tonight I'm MAKING him take a nap in the early evening so he can go to bed a little bit later and wake his butt up a little bit later too. But today, oh well...he can have his way.

Tomorrow is the official last day of summer...how nutts is that?? We enjoyed our summer, except for the bout of flu. Holy smokes...by next summer, we'll have two babies instead of just one!

Okay, I'm too tired to post more right now...

Sooo...pregnancy #2...I guess I should chronicle this one too...

I've been feeling a lot more nauseous than I remember feeling with Caleb. Yesterday it finally resulted in barfing...after lunch and after dinner...which really sucked.

This morning after breakfast I felt queasy, dry heaved some, but managed to keep the food down. I'm hungry again now, so I'm making some ramen...hopefully that stays down too.

I'm not sure how feeling like crap is going to mesh with starting the school year and teaching...like, seriously, am I going to have to excuse myself and go outside and barf? How am I going to do that? Well, I'll figure it out when I get there...I'm sure I'm not the first teacher in history who had to deal with barfing...

Dave is wonderful...he is going to have to be cuz some things, like laundry and straightening up, I just don't have energy for. I'll still do the cooking, cuz that can't be avoided, and making Caleb's meals and stuff for him, but Dave's going to have to pitch in a bunch. Luckily, he's cool with that, so it's all good...I feel bad sometimes, but he just takes it in stride and does what I ask him to. I better be appreciative and not bitchy about it.

Kay, water's boiling...let's hope the ramen stays down...

Caleb will be a big brother sometime around March 6. He'll be just shy of 15 months old. We have a lot of adventures to come...

Caleb has been screaming for almost an hour now. He is extremely tired, but will not go to sleep. He has been having a hard time going down, even for naps, because of his preoccupation with standing and sitting up in his crib. Right now he is refusing to stay lying down and is screaming his head off.

Soon it will be time for him to drink milk...so if we pick him up to feed him, I'm afraid that he'll come to expect that we will pick him up after a while. This is WORSE than the first time we tried to have him sleep on his own....

This is HARD...

Caleb has mastered the art of standing up in his crib...so instead of going down for his naps like he's supposed to, he will get up and stand in the crib and look around and play. It takes him forever and a day to go down for his nap...

Tomorrow we're lowering the mattress...which will only serve to piss him off, but will hopefully result in better naps and bedtimes.

He doesn't seem to like applesauce too much. We just started fruits with him now that we've worked through vegetables and meats...and we thought he'd LOVE applesauce, but no, he makes an ugly face and will eat it but not enthusiastically. I'd think the fruits would be the best but he likes his meat (beef mix) and squash and sweet potato still.

Today is Day 4 without Caleb...I have my bouts of intense depression and crying, but since I've been so out of it and in and out of sleep, it hasn't actually been as bad as I thought it would be. Now that I'm starting to feel better, I'm getting impatient, though, and just want to be fever free so I can be with him again. I'm just praying that he isn't sick at all. I started feeling funny on Thursday night/Friday morning, then it just got super bad Friday thru now. Today is the first day I feel semi-normal, even though there's still an off and on lingering fever. At noon I took my temp, it was fine. I ate lunch and just took it again (1:30) and it's 99.5. My throat is super sore too and my sinuses are still all messed up.

I realized that my lesson in all of this is that I had to learn to give up control when it comes to Caleb and trust others to take care of him....and it would never have happened unless something like this, where it HAD to happen. So far he seems content and happy at his grandparent's house...he's still smiling and active and Grandma Colmenares says he always perks up when the phone rings so she thinks he knows it's either me or Dave calling. I can't wait to see him again...and even though I'm not the most patient person, I have to remember that I do not want to get Caleb sick so I have to really wait until I'm fully fever free before I am around him again.

Caleb's growth is amazing...every day it seems like he's able to do something new or better...

Right now he's really good at sitting up...he can't really get there on his own, but if you sit him down, he'll stay there for a long time now.

He can move himself around pretty quickly...especially if he has his sights set on something he wants.

He will "come" to you now...like if he's being carried and someone tells him to "come" he'll usually kind of reach out to you.

When he's on the floor and wants you to lift him up, he'll reach for you and grab at your hands.

He makes a gurgling sound...loves it...will lie on his back and just gurgle away.

He vocalizes a lot now...different sounds, shrieks, babbles...

He no longer has to sleep on his belly...in fact, he'll roll around and seems to like sleeping on his side a lot.

He can't crawl...but he'll lift his butt all the way up in the air with his hands and toes on the ground...or he'll move his hands, then fall forward, then get up again and repeat until he reaches his destination...but his favorite is to be holding on to your hands and standing up and "walking".

He's super smiley and energetic now...like he can't keep still at all...it's cool that he's not a bump on a log, but it sure gets tiring fast, especially cuz he's so heavy!

I'm just thoroughly amazed at everything he does...and I know I'm going to miss many milestones while I'm at work and he's home with gramma...oh well.

In the book I was reading the character was talking about how life changes when you become a parent...and though it sounds so cliche', it really is true...my life does not revolve around me anymore...not my career, not my wants, not my needs...it revolves solely around Caleb and us as a family. Our schedule, our plans, our time...all dedicated to what Caleb needs. It's a trip...I never really understood it before (when I thought about other parents), but I totally get it now. My first thought in the morning...not what do I need, or what am I going to do today...what does Caleb need, what are WE going to do today...it's a change I love...I know I still need time of my own, and so does Dave, but really, time with Caleb and just seeing what he does and providing for him, that is what life is really all about now.

since we've been on maui caleb's schedule is a little bit out of wack...but hopefully he'll be able to slide back into his routine fairly easily when he gets back home...

two more days...then back on the plane, where caleb will probably bless us with making doots again. lol.

once we get home we're going to have to seriously start moving stuff and figuring out how to configure our living room mess so that caleb can't get into too much mischief...he's moving quickly now, especially when he sees something he wants (usually paper or wires). no crawling yet, but he's doing a strange okole in the air, on his toes and hands movement...

right now he's taking a nap...a kind of long one...hopefully he still sleeps good tonight. sleeping between him and dave is not fun...caleb moves around a lot and snores, and dave snores LOUD so i have to shake his head cuz caleb stirs when dave snores too loud...it does not make for restful sleep at all. i'll be glad when we're back in our own bed and caleb's back in his crib where i don't have to worry about him falling off!

We called it...we said, guaranz caleb going take a crap on the plane...well, he decided to make doots right before we boarded...we're waiting by the gate for them to call "people traveling with children under the age of 5" and what does he start doing??? Pushing and grunting...

So, I got to do my first diaper change in the airplane bathroom...which wouldn't have been too bad except for Caleb not understanding what was going on and whimpering/crying as I changed him. Then I was embarrassed because the flight attendant had to go in to retrieve the doodoo diaper that I had thrown into the garbage in there.

Caleb wasn't too bad in the plane...he fussed because he was sleepy and did some screeching (seriously, is that the right way to spell it??)...and this time it was DADDY who could calm him and put him to sleep.... :-(

Right now it's 9:20 and the little boy is still up and playing with his toys...no crib to throw him into and our bedtime routine kind of went out the window since we're sleeping in the living room with him...we'll see how tonight's sleep goes...

And btw, our luggage weighed 48 pounds...garsh...

Tonight while I was at hula Dave said Caleb got even closer to crawling....he put him down in the middle of the living room and Caleb scooted himself to the ps2...then he put um back again and he scooted to the ps2 again. Dave says by the time we come back from Maui he'll be crawling...he did have his FIRST sleeping through the night on Maui so maybe he'll have his first crawling on Maui too.

Tomorrow we go on the plane...and though our first experience was all good, I'm interested to see how this time goes. Caleb is such a squirmy boy so I foresee the sitting still in our laps to be a big problem. Dave just hopes he doesn't take a big crap right at the beginning of the flight...I just hope he doesn't scream the whole way there. We'll pray hard tonight and tomorrow before we get on the plane.

It'll be interesting to see how this longer vacation goes too...2 nights at my mom's in Lahaina and 3 nights at my dad's in Waiehu. And since we don't have the luxury of a crib there, he'll be sleeping with us...which means I won't be getting a good sleep at all!!!! Oh well.

I better go sleep...he's sleeping now but he didn't eat too well today so he may need a feeding tonight...he was refusing his bottle and food for lunch...so instead of close to 30 oz of milk and 3 meals, he had 2 meals and 22 oz of milk. We'll see if that tides him over to the morning...he only took one doots today, so maybe he's still full. lol.

Just when we thought Caleb was getting the hang of falling asleep on his own...

today happens....

He did not want to take a morning nap...so he was super tired...and didn't want to take an afternoon nap either...but we put him in the crib, he screamed and cried, then slept for about an hour and woke up still grouchy and sleepy....

Right now he is in the crib, screaming louder than ever....he is sleepy...we had put him in the crib earlier and he was screaming his head off so we decided to give him some milk...he inhaled 4 oz, and just as he was nodding off, he woke himself up and began to fuss. I burped him and put him down in the crib...he was closing his eyes, sucking on his paci, holding his pillow...I left the room, and a minute later, SCREAMING. We are just going to let him cry it out cuz we know he's tired and needs sleep...and needs to go nene on his own...but dang, his screams are like the screams from the first night! LOUD and VIOLENT and ANGRY. I can't believe he hasn't lost his voice from all the screaming he's been doing.

Friday we go to Maui for an extended visit...last time was 3 nights...this time it's 5 nights. Should be interesting, especially since he'll be sleeping with us during the trip...then he'll have to come home and readjust to sleeping by himself in his crib again.

Okay, I gotta go play a game or read or something cuz his screams are making my heart ache...I'm pms-ing so that doesn't help either...

Today Caleb made doodoo 3 times...first one was probably a little old cuz it was kind of dried in his diaper when we changed him in the morning...

Second one was a big one after breakfast.

Third one was killer...at around 4:30 we were at home and he started making doodoo again...with him it's very obvious cuz he makes grunting/pushing sounds like he's really struggling to get it out, even if it's soft. So he's done and Dave goes to change the diaper...I'm at the sink, washing bottles...Dave says, "Ai, it came out of the diaper, it's on the blanket." Now, this has happened before, so I ask him if he needs me to come there...he says, "Yes." So I go over and see that the doodoo has come out of his diaper, up his back...and it's all on the onesie too. Instead of dealing with it there, I tell Dave to bring him to the bath tub. So we put him in and start hosing him off...and the doodoo is all the way up to his shoulders!!!! We hose him down, hose the doodoo off of him and the onesie before I take the onesie off cuz I don't want that doodoo getting up to his head...and then I take off his diaper, soap him off and proceed to clean up the huge, yucky mess. I'm glad doodoo and vomit don't gross me out (well, not to the degree where I can't do it or I start gagging)...cuz if it did, I don't know who would clean it up cuz it grosses Dave out.

I gotta go read in the book and find out if this is normal or what cuz his dumps have been getting bigger (expected) and soupier (sometimes).

Okay, gonna go watch the depressing jon and kate reptrospective before we go to bed.