what am I being taught?

so i haven't been on here forever, but maybe what i need to keep my sanity is some vent sessions through cathartic writing. 

anytime one of the kids is sick, chaos ensues.  first caleb was sick, and though he gets sick a lot more often than brynna, dealing with his sicknesses is much easier because he's so good with taking his medicines.  after just marveling at how caleb is sick so often and brynna had yet to be sick since starting preschool, she caught his bug.  i'm not sure if it's because she hasn't had a flu shot, but her sickness is a lot worse than caleb's was.  what doesn't help the situation is that she HATES taking meds and it's a struggle to get her to take anything.  she's been home all week....fever, cough, galas, and today, BARF.  she ate her soup and rice like a champ, then proceeded to spew barf on the couch and then again on the bathroom floor.  cleaned up, bocha'd her, put the gross stuff in the wash...gave them m&ms for dessert.  approximately five m&ms in, BARF again.  all over the carpet (chocolate and chicken noodle soup makes for some disgusting barf!)...take her to the bathroom and she hurls a good one, but luckily she was in the tub.  clean up again and at this point i tell dave to brush their teeth and put them in bed cuz i'm done. 

when i was younger (and much, much stupider), i used to say that if i didn't find a husband, that would be fine and i'd just get pregnant somehow and be a mommy cuz that's the one thing i wanted most.  oh boy was i stupid.  as i'm taking on more of the responsibilities just because dave is physically unable to, i just can't imagine a life of doing every freakin' thing all by myself with no one to rely on.  i'm lucky because i have my mom here with me to help me with stuff, but having a husband is a really great asset also.  i should clarify - having a helpful husband is a great asset.

so i guess what i'm learning is this...as much as dave pisses me off sometimes, and as much as i hate having to tell him what to do, i soooooo appreciate having a husband who is helpful.  and although this won't stop me from getting mad when he's sitting with his leg up and i'm making breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks, washing dishes, cleaning, bochaing the kids, doing the grocery shopping, and everything else...i do have to be thankful. 

the most irritating noise

sooo...been forever and a day since i've been on here.  sucks cuz i really need to keep these posts cuz they're the only way i'll ever remember anything with my ridiculously bad memory. 

anyways, today i've come to the realization that incessant crying is less irritating than incessant whining.  if i hear another, "but mommy, i dont want to" or "but mommy, i want to" today, i'm going to frickin go ballistic.  i realized, after attending church, having lunch, going to a long-ass soccer game, getting a snack at mcds, then going to the grocery store, that i've had about all the whining i can possibly handle for one day.  as we sat in mcdonalds after the soccer game, with one child on each side of me, the pitch and volume of their voices was just too much.  even a great big diet coke and some french fries couldn't alleviate the pounding in my head.  right now i can hear the two of them futting around in the bedroom, since bedtime means make noise, fool around and sing and talk as much as i can before mommy and daddy get REALLY mad. 

maybe it's just me and not being able to sleep past 7 a.m. on both my weekend mornings that has me in such a mood, but i'm about ready to brush my teeth and go to sleep already.  tomorrow begins another week of 530 wake-ups, hurried morning business, long school days, then homework/dinner/bath/bedtime routines. 

did i mention that mommyhood is the greatest accomplishment of my life?????  lol.  just one of dem days. 

kiss butt

when caleb is getting scoldings, brynna will majorly kiss butt.  she'll tell us what she's doing right and how she's not being naughty.  tonight dave told her, "brynna, you know how to kiss butt, yea?!" and she says, "i know how to kiss butt."  lol. 

massive fit

caleb has been on an "i want mommy to do it" trip...it really is the most irritating thing EVER.  "i want mommy to wake me up," "i want mommy to put on my clothes," "i want mommy to sit by me when i eat breakfast/dinner"....and on and on and on.  we talked to him about it and he was better for a day, but this evening was ridiculous.  he refused to eat his dinner, didn't listen when i told him over and over to sit down, so i picked him up to take him to bocha and he started throwing a fit...swinging at me and even hitting me while i was carrying him.  we went in the bathroom and he got some pinches and eventually calmed down and said he wanted me to feed him.  i did, only because i wanted him to eat and be done with it.  then the three of us had some ice cream but he didn't get any because of his behavior, which caused another massive fit.  finally i took him in the bathroom, forced him to take a bath, all the while having him screaming, crying, trying to get away from me, hitting, flicking, etc.  needless to say he is in the bedroom and has been since his bath and brushing teeth.  after he calmed down i wrote down rules, consequences and rewards and then we listed all of the ways he had misbehaved. 

i'm sure tonight my bedtime reading will be articles on more effective dealings with these frickin fits cuz all i really wanna do is body slam him when he acts this way.  

new morning routine

having the two kids in school is a whole new ball game.  i thought that it would be easier with caleb since he's been doing it for a year, but apparently, the novelty of getting up and getting ready for school has worn off.  brynna has been much better so far, but she also has her moments.  on days when i have to make breakfast and lunches for all four of us, i'm going to need to be up by 5:30...5:15 would probably save my sanity a little bit more.  thankfully i can usually make some of the lunches the night before (at least me and dave's), so that helps.  not being able to give caleb anything with peanuts is a little tricky, but luckily brynna's school is not peanut free yet. 

date day

today for the first time we're going to go on little mini-dates with the little ones...dave is taking caleb to watch despicable me 2 and i'm taking brynna to watch a my little pony movie.  she saw the poster for it by pearlridge theater when i took her with aunty leish to watch another movie and she really wanted to see it.  it's already on dvd, but i'm sure she'll be thrilled to see it in the theater with popcorn! 

we're a little bit worried cuz two times we took caleb to watch a movie he got sick..i'm sure it's just a coincidence but we'll make sure he's warm.  he already said his throat was sore this morning so we'll see.

we've been trying to pack in a lot of fun for the kids in our little summer vacation.  went to the beach, discovery center, movies today and itrampoline tomorrow.  still gotta take them to bishop museum to see the dinosaurs...how can we not have taken them there yet??? 

tattletaler and manipulator

i remember a book we used to read at my aunty's house about not being a tattler.  (sheesh, is it tattler, tattletaler, tattle-taler?) anyways, i need that book for caleb.  he's always telling us about what brynna did, though oftentimes he's a part of the problem too.  grrr.  i guess it's the age but we definitely need to find a book about it, since little guy learns so much from his books. 

brynna, on the other hand, doesn't tattle too much since she is often the instigator.  she's also soooooo funny in her manipulative ways.  the other day my mom was scolding her about something and she looks at my mom and says, "i love you."  wth????  little tricky girl.  then when she wants something and you tell her no she comes back with, "oh, but i really want it, please, oh please?!"  we asked her who taught her that and she said she taught herself.  gosh!!!!  

my little girl

brynna is getting very funny as she gets older.  she talks a lot more now, and though it's very hard to understand what she's saying, when we do get it, it's a kick to see her little personality.  she's is definitely mine and dave's...angry (me) and stubborn (dave)!!! 

yesterday i took her to school with me because i didn't want her home with caleb and my mom wasn't feeling good the night before so i figured it would be good for her to come with me...we loaded up the dvd player, toys, snacks, and a towel.  i'm in the health room so i figured she could chill on the cots and she'd be fine.  by recess, she was ready to go home, though.  she said that she was tired and she "needed a squishy bed, not a hard one."  today when i got home the first thing she tells me is, "i just want hello kitty stuff."  she says things so matter-of-factly and throws her hands out...so cute.  she gets frustrated when she can't do something and will actually fling whatever she's trying to do away from her.  not so cute, but still, cute.  she's a little bossy girl and tries to boss her brother around all the time. 

she looks so different with her little glasses.  she's been a really good girl about wearing them and hasn't given us much trouble about wanting to take them off.  in fact, i've never seen her take them off by herself...she asks us to do it.  dr said that the glasses should be enough to strengthen her eyes and help them straighten so that's a good sign. 

even though i never wanted a daughter, i'm so glad to have her.  she's my little girl and i can't wait to see how our relationship develops as she gets older. 

oops, sicker than i thought!

caleb's had a cough for about two weeks now but I didn't think too much about it cuz it wasn't too bad and he didn't have a fever.  this past friday, though, he was feverish after i picked him up from school...but that night was his graduation so we decided to give him meds and take him to graduation.  poor little guy...i felt so bad for him because you could just see throughout the entire program (which was freakin' hella long) that he was in pain.  he was singing the songs (all TEN of them!) and doing his hand motions, but he just didn't have his usual spunk while doing it.  when it was done we gave him his leis and he immediately asked to take them off and he wanted me to carry him.  we quickly got out of there, got him home, changed him, gave him medicine and he fell right to sleep.  monday we took him to the doctor and it turns out he has walking pneumonia.  he's been coughing like crazy every night...luckily brynna sleeps through it but dave and i aren't as lucky.  i feel like we're up more than we're sleeping cuz he's coughing so much but dr said the coughing will help to get the mucus out.  i doubt he'll go to school this whole week...and then next week is his last week of preschool.  i guess next time he (or bryn) has a lingering cough, we should just take them in...but i also don't like to take them in for every little thing cuz i figure they just gotta build their immunity.  i wonder if bryn will get as sick as caleb has during her first year of preschool.  she just seems to be a much hardier little girl...i really believe it's cuz she sucks her dirty thumb and builds immunity to all the germs on her thumb.  heehee. 

sleepovers at the grandparent's house

for the past two weekends the kids have slept over at their grandparent's house for one of the weekend nights.  it's a nice break for dave and i...it's just nice not to have to worry about brushing teeth, reading, dealing with the excuses of not wanting to go to bed and having to get water or another book or a certain dino or a pillow or whatever other excuse they find.  now that they're older i can deal with the separation better...if they were younger, i don't think i would allow it...lol.  even though they're not in our bed, they're still in our bedroom, so without them there it is a little lonely, though i LOVE being able to sleep in.  i suppose as they get even older there will be longer sleepovers...i'm not sure when i'll be trusting enough to let them sleep over at someone other than their grandparent's house, though.  they'll be the high schoolers that were never allowed to sleep over at their friend's houses...heehee. 

how things change...

the other week we went to the 50th state fair with some friends and their two year old daughter.  last year the kids enjoyed the rides but mainly rode with us.  last year, our friends' two year old was scared on the merry go round.

this year...fearless, independent kids!  granted, our friends' baby girl rode with her daddy, but for the most part, caleb and brynna were independent riders, which made me a little bit nervous at first.  i rode the race cars with brynna the first time because i remembered how it whipped around the corners, but besides that and the slide, they rode by themselves.  they even rode the mini-roller coaster by themselves, loving every minute (okay, ever second, cuz none of the rides really last many minutes...lol) of it. 

they were most scared in the petting zoo, which doesn't surprise me cuz i'm not to keen of the great outdoors or animals, so they don't get a whole lot of exposure.  caleb didn't like the goats with horns and brynna pretty much didn't like any of them. 

i think we'll have to take them one more time before the fair is over.  it's a lot of money, but it's a lot of fun for them so it's totally worth it. 

**another change worth noting - caleb has a little cough so last night when i was giving him cough medicine brynna asked for some.  i highly doubted she would take it, so i poured just a little bit for her and lo and behold, she drank it down like it was nothing!  remember, this is the little girl who used to make dave and i wrestle her down, hold her nose, squeeze her mouth, and force her to take any kind of medicine!  what a trip!!!! 

just don't know what to do...

I just don't know what to do with my baby girl.  Brynna is ridiculous.  She's bipolar.  She's so sweet and loveable, but when she's mad, there's no reasoning with her and no stopping her anger.  As I type this, I KNOW that she's me....and I don't know how to discipline or change her.  She doesn't respond to time-outs, spanking, yelling, etc.  Lately she's become even more aggressive than she already was.  She has put her hands around Caleb's neck in a choking motion on two occasions.  She was so pissed off this past weekend that she pinched my arms and would not stop repeating her irrational demands no matter what.  Her fit lasted a good half hour or more and there was NOTHING I could do to stop it.  I need to do some research on how to deal with her...gosh.  Payback is a bizatch and I'm going to remind Brynna of that ALL the time when she's older.  She better pray she doesn't have a daughter.  :-) 

"i don't want my kids to be teachers"...wtf?

i keep hearing people, especially teachers, say, "my kids are NOT going to be teachers...the pay sucks."  my mom even told me that when i decided i wanted to go into teaching.  that bothers, me, though...especially hearing it coming out of the mouths of teachers.  teaching is NOT about the money.  do i wish we made more money so that we could buy a house?  yes.  would i change my profession because of that?  hell no.  to me, if you don't love what you're doing as a teacher, then get the f*** out cuz you're just doing a disservice to the kids.  yea, there's lots of stuff coming down in the doe that i don't necessarily like or agree with...but bottom line is, i love working with my kids so i'm gonna keep working with my kids.  yea, i don't technically get paid beyond my work day, so does that mean i'm not going to do more just cuz i'm not getting paid?  hell no.  since i've had kids i've set certain limits for myself and leave school way earlier than i used to when i was single, and i definitely  spend less time out of school doing work for school, but if something needs to be done or if the kids/my team needs something, i'm going to find a way to do it.  i won't force my kids to be teachers, but i hope that by the example of dave and me, they'll have hearts to help, regardless of if they're going to get a fat paycheck or not.  and i hope they learn not to be excuse-making lazy asses and to do the work, even when it's hard or inconvenient, if it means helping someone else who may not have the opportunities/home-life/comforts that they are lucky to have. 

where has the time gone?

man, i'm sucking at chronicling events of caleb and brynna lately...and i haven't updated my pics blog in forever and a day!

last week was spring break so we got to spend lots of time with the kids...went to a lot of dr appointments too.  took the kids to the zoo, which is still by far my least favorite thing to do.  it was especially hellacious cuz they were repaving the parking lot so we had to find street parking, realized we only had coins for 20-something minutes, had to grab coins and feed the meter all before entering the crowded, bird-filled zoo.  and it was HOTTER than heck.  needless to say, the kids enjoyed it, me not so much.

we went to a few softball games too because grace is playing for mckinley.  i'm impressed by her skills...wish i had an athletic bone in my body but unfortunately i don't.  hope the kids get dave's athleticism and not mine.  guess going to games inspired them, though, because when i asked if they wanted to play soccer, caleb said he wants to play baseball and brynna said she wants to play softball....GREAT...i had vowed that my kids would NOT play those sports but i guess i can't control what they want.  there's a tball i9 league coming up in the summer so looks like we'll be signing up for that...yay.

i'm thinking this quarter is going to fly by cuz it's a short quarter and the last one always goes by so quickly...that and the fact that i'm going to be hella  busy with summer school stuff.  hopefully this contract gets ratified so my responsibilities with hsta will ease up cuz that's been taking choke of my time too.  then after summer, both kids will be in school...dang!!!!  kinda makes me wish i could have another baby...yea right!!!!  ;-)

awww shiiiii....

the other day dave overheard caleb saying, as he was playing his game, "awww shiii....oh, i'm not going to say that naughty word."  while this is super hilarious, it's also a prime example of how EVERYTHING we do and say is picked up on by these kids.  i wish i could say i was a better role model, but i am by far the worst role model (if you look at me, dave, my mom, and grandpa and grandma...the adults they see most frequently).  i'm the least patient, the most out of control and the worst potty mouth of all of us.  i do hope they pick up on some of the good things, though, and don't only remember and emulate my road-rage, dave-rage and everyday-rage.  it's no wonder why my little girl, when i ask her, "do you understand that just because you want something, it doesn't mean you're going to get it?" and she replies with, "NO WAY."  i better work hard on being better before it's too late. 

woohoo...bunkbed!!!

last night was night #1 of no baby in the bed...lol!  caleb had to take the bottom bunk because brynna wouldn't go to sleep unless she had the top.  it took caleb a long time to fall asleep and he kept asking me to go by him...he also woke me up at 3 a.m. with a big bunch of doods in his diaper, which hasn't happened in forever.  brynna, on the other hand, fell asleep quite nicely and stayed asleep the whole night, then woke up this morning a happy little girl.  we had to rearrange all the furniture in our room and it blows my mind that our bedroom can fit the bunkbed, our queen size, two dressers, a file cabinet and more! i am now sleeping against the wall, which i don't really like, but oh well...at least i'm next to my husband now and have a full adult sized space on the bed and not a sliver of space with brynna next to me.  i couldn't sleep well last night because i kept worrying that one of them would fall (actually, worrying that caleb would fall since the bottom doesn't have rails like the top and he's more prone to falling from beds than brynna anyways).  brynna has to have sports sheets now cuz we don't have any girly sheets yet, but her birthday's coming up so imma get her some cute hello kitty ones.  :-)  actually, i should get her some dinosaur ones...she'd like that better! 

preschool

after figuring out that brynna and caleb would be two years apart in school, we thought we'd have a respite from preschool tuition for a year in between the two.  however, when i think of brynna staying home for yet another year, i think that we just gotta suck it up and send her to preschool starting next year already.  she's stubborn and doesn't know how to share, and i think staying home for an additional year will only make it harder for her to adjust to the routine of school.  i'm terribly afraid of what the school experience will be like with her...especially after how easy the transition has been for caleb, but we have to do it.  she'll have had her one year of alone-time with baba, which i think was good for her because she always has to share the spotlight with her brother.  i'm praying that she'll be that child...the one that acts like a terror at home but does well at school....however, i'm also anticipating it being painful, painful, painful.  we'll see.  i got her application and dave and i are 99% sure we're sending her starting next year.  in a way it's unfair because caleb only got one year of preschool, but that's all he needed.  she needs something different, so too bad about the fairness. 

sleeping arrangements

since five of us live in a two-bedroom apartment, it's inevitable that at least one kid will sleep in our room.  brynna has been with us since birth.  caleb used to sleep in the other room with my mom but has been sleeping in our room for a while  now because he goes to sleep earlier if he's in our room since my mom goes to sleep later than us and he thinks that if baba's awake in the room, play time continues.  right now brynna sleeps on the bed with us and caleb sleeps on the crib mattress on the ground.  we've been trying to figure out what we're going to do so that we can get brynna in her own bed sometime in the near future. 

one thought is to get a bunk bed and put it in our room.  there's actually enough room for our bed and a bunk, but it will be tight and i'm not sure if i'm ready for brynna to be on the top bunk (it would have to be her because caleb would definitely fall off...she's much better at not falling off beds). 

another thought is to get a trundle bed so they both can be pretty near to the ground. 

a third thought is to get rid of the crib mattress and just make them both sleep on the ground. 

i dunno what we're going to do, but i do know that i am ready to sleep next to dave again and that sleeping on a kid-less bed makes for a much better sleep. 

we also have to really make a better bedtime routine.  we generally get into bed anytime between 830-900 and then after a little bit of reading and a lot of playing, we're all sleeping by 1000.  i'd much rather the kids be in the bedroom by 800, leave them there and teach them to sleep on their own (after reading a few books, of course), and then dave and i get into bed around 930 (yes, that sounds early to most of you, but we are old futs who can't stay up late!).  i know of kids who are in their rooms at like 7...that's a little bit early for me, but since both of them will most likely be in school next year (more on that in another post), we gotta figure out this bedtime thing. 

cute funnies

last night i wasn't feeling well so i told dave i was going to sleep in my mom's room instead of our room...and that he had to keep the kids with him because i didn't want to get them sick and just wanted a peace and quiet, full night of sleep.  he didn't think the kids would stay with him but i thought that if he made them, they would.  i told both of the kids that i was going to sleep in baba's room and that they were going to sleep with daddy.  they agreed.  in fact, caleb said, "that's cool" so I asked him, "what's cool?" and he said, "that you're sleeping with baba."  they went on their merry way and i went into the room to lie down and get some rest.

as i'm reading i hear the kids talking...caleb says, "brynna, i have a boner."  wait, what???  "brynna, i have a boner."  so i yell out of the room, "caleb, don't say that!!!!"  gosh.  really????  i mean, i know it's our fault because we used the word boner from when he was a baby...but i thought we went over with him that he wasn't supposed to say "boner" anymore.  i can just imagine him at school telling all his friends about his "boner."  and being the boy he is, he touches there all the time, so i'm sure he has frequent boners.  gosh. 

later on that night as dave is in the room with the kids, brynna starts crying and comes to my mom's room.  she tells me that "daddy is naughty."  apparently she was being naughty and not sharing books with caleb so dave spanked her.  she tells me she wants to sleep with me and i tell her no, that i'm sick so she has to sleep with daddy.  she says, "i'm sick too, mommy...fake coughs...see, i'm coughing, i'm sick too mommy."  soooooo cute.  needless to say, she ended up sleeping with me. 

happy new year!

holy smokes, haven't been on here in forever and a day.  oh well.  haven't really been motivated to do any blogging anyways, so everytime i thought about it, i found something else to do.  recap of what we've been up to since halloween....sick, sick, and more sick.  all of us got sick in nov/dec and are just now getting better.  brynna was the last one to get it and she seems to be recovering quickly.  she's a strong little one...i think it's cuz she's built so much immunity from sucking her dirty thumb all the time...lol. 

we just turned in our g.e. forms to waimalu so hopefully they get it back to us quickly and we can turn it in to manana.  decided we want the kids to go there...like the small school and have heard good things.  can't believe caleb will be in kindergarten soon. 

went to maui for a week...nice to relax, but dare i say that i don't feel like a "maui girl" anymore????  maybe it's cuz we were mainly on my dad's side, which isn't where i grew up, but i just wasn't feeling it this time.  caleb kept saying he wanted to come home...mainly because he remembered that all his new toys from christmas were waiting for him to play with. 

for some reason this new year doesn't feel like a new year to me...no resolutions, no changes...maybe it just hasn't hit me yet.  i'm also currently starving and waiting for dave to come home from his math team meet so i think i'll end here because i'm really not motivated to write anything interesting.  lol.