Today is Day 4 without Caleb...I have my bouts of intense depression and crying, but since I've been so out of it and in and out of sleep, it hasn't actually been as bad as I thought it would be. Now that I'm starting to feel better, I'm getting impatient, though, and just want to be fever free so I can be with him again. I'm just praying that he isn't sick at all. I started feeling funny on Thursday night/Friday morning, then it just got super bad Friday thru now. Today is the first day I feel semi-normal, even though there's still an off and on lingering fever. At noon I took my temp, it was fine. I ate lunch and just took it again (1:30) and it's 99.5. My throat is super sore too and my sinuses are still all messed up.

I realized that my lesson in all of this is that I had to learn to give up control when it comes to Caleb and trust others to take care of him....and it would never have happened unless something like this, where it HAD to happen. So far he seems content and happy at his grandparent's house...he's still smiling and active and Grandma Colmenares says he always perks up when the phone rings so she thinks he knows it's either me or Dave calling. I can't wait to see him again...and even though I'm not the most patient person, I have to remember that I do not want to get Caleb sick so I have to really wait until I'm fully fever free before I am around him again.