wth...on dec 10 i was 138.5....yesterday i was 138. that's more than a month with no weight gain and my doctor didn't say anything...that's weird.

doctor yesterday...the last of the only listen to the heartbeat visits...starting next time we'll do the strep b test and checking for dilation and head...yay...

weight yesterday = 138...i've hovered here for a while, so maybe i won't be too far off my 141 when i gave birth to caleb. ha, there's still 6 weeks left, so i better not speak too soon.

yesterday's blood sugar counts were all good, despite the fact that my clueless husband ate half my sandwich, thinking that they were all made with wheat bread. i wasn't about to eat a white bread one cuz that seems to drive my sugar up and i knew i wasn't going to be getting in a good walk after lunch. God knew that and provided me with school lunch...lol...i would have been super pissed if i only had half a sandwich and nothing else!

i haven't been walking nearly as much lately...cuz i'm not being disciplined enough to get off my butt and go walk during lunch time. 30 minutes is just too short...and i feel bad going walking after that cuz i no like be like so many of these other peeps who take advantage.

yay for it being friday, but after last weekend's super long weekend, i'm sure this one is going to seem like it's flying by! two days of weekend??? what's that??? lol. so spoiled.

i trip that january is already nearing its end. man, in no time imma have to be at a bon joveee concert...lol. that'll be a busy week cuz my nephew will be up here for soccer states. but that also is the super hella long weekend with furlough friday, holiday on monday and pc day on tuesday. lucky kids...five day weekend!

okay, bell rang, time to start the day!

this has been a long freakin' week already. can't believe we gotta go work on a friday...lol! i was looking at the calendar for the rest of the year and those two five day weeks are gonna be killer! well, i don't think i'll be in school...but i'll feel the pain for the rest of you...

caleb's been a freak this week. he woke up at 5 a.m. on monday and tuesday, then at 530 yesterday, then at 130 this morning. wth? stayed up until about 330 just tossing and turning and grumbling here and there...we were in the living room, so needless to say it wasn't the most comfortable sleeping accommodations for dave and me. he finally went to sleep and then got up again at around 5-something. by this time i had just moved back to the bedroom cuz my body was getting sore sleeping on the floor, so dave picked him up and let caleb sleep on him on the couch. grr. didn't want to wake up when my alarm went off at 545 so i kept snoozing it...and then didnt' have time to make myself breakfast so had to stop at 7-11 to pick up a little breakfast and a jumbo soda...lol.

last night i made chili so we had that for dinner...and it freakin made my blood sugar SUPER HIGH. it was 181 and it's supposed to be below 140....dang! i even went walking and it was still high. by the time i had my night snack, though, it was down to 116...which at that time is still pretty high i think. oh well. whatever. we see doctor today but i doubt he'll say anything...

well, bell rang to start the day...yay...

far be it for me to grumble about rest...but today was BORING. i did registration stuff for the first 15 minutes of each period, then twiddled my thumbs the rest of the time. i did get a lot of walking time in going from the library to a10, but other than that, today sucked.

tomorrow i'm going to start trying to work with a social studies teacher. we'll see how that goes.

brynna moves around like crazy and it's so uncomfortable...like she's trying to rip her way out from the inside...

caleb freakin woke up at a little before 5 today...again...and that sucks. imma be super tired tomorrow. little shirt...

he doesn't seem to like to be cuddled too much...i hope he learns to like it cuz i'm a cuddler and will demand cuddles from him! lol.

he has the hugest booger ever in his left nostril and refuses to let us take it out. the three of us tried one night and besides major screaming from him, nothing was accomplished. it's freakin' stuck in there...and it's hard and seems like it's connected to his brain and will pull out brain along with nose hairs if we force it out. we think it will fall out on its own but it's been about a week since i noticed it in there.

gonna go do some walking before dinner...yay. i love walking...

well, the zoo was better than I expected it to be...the kiddie zoo part is REALLY nice. i'm not much of an animal-watching lover, and i've been spoiled by florida's busch gardens...but we'll definitely take caleb to the zoo more often...after i'm pau being pregnant cuz lugging 35 extra pounds around that entire zoo was not fun by the end.

my lunch sugar was high...ate 2 pieces of kfc chicken and a biscuit...dangit! i could feel it too...just felt funny and yep, when i took my blood it was 164, which is the highest it's been for a while. goodness gracious. that sucks. oh well, hoping my dinner one is better. and here i was thinking maybe i could sneak some candy or cookies every once in a while...guess not! actually, i'm pretty sure it's the bread that did me in...seems to affect my blood sugar a lot.

we just started week 34...7 more weeks!!! doctor again on thursday. hope everything is all good. i think this one we do the strep b test...which, like the strep throat test, is a swab...but not of your throat...it's such a weird one cuz they gotta swab your butt and down there...i don't even really understand what strep b is except that if you have it, they give either you or baby some kind of medicine during labor or something like that.

caleb's been tanking about 20 oz of whole milk a day...no set schedule, just kind of when he feels like it. he'll drink a bunch in the morning when he wakes up and then usually after his naps...and sips here and there. the sippy we have him on still has the silicone sipper part...i wanna try see if there's silicone straws that he can start trying out too. i did hear from blake, though, that the straws are hard to clean and get moldy and yucky...and after hearing about greg and deb's bubba kegs getting yucks, that kind of scares me. we'll see...

okay, gonna listen to dave read the lost symbol some more...we got a lot of reading done today!

goodness gracious i get such anxiety when it's time to prick my finger. i thought it was getting a little easier, but it's not. i think it's actually getting harder...it's taking me longer and longer to press that dang button to prick myself.

my sugar counts have been good for the past couple days. i'm glad. hopefully after a few weeks of it being good, maybe they'll tell me i only have to prick myself twice a day...wishful thinking...

the doctor said a lot of people have their blood sugars spike when they eat rice...for me, it seems to be the opposite. if i eat bread or pasta (non-whole wheat kine) then my sugar seems higher. if i eat 2/3 cup white/brown rice, it's all good. i actually like brown rice...i like the texture of it. we've been mixing 2 cups brown and 1 cup white and i like that mix. dave doesn't complain about it either, so we'll probably keep that up even after pregnancy...

caleb is grabbing at my arms cuz he wants to come up here and mess stuff up...he's very persistent!

i'm loving this long weekend. we bought a twin size bed yesterday for caleb's room for my mom to sleep on...that'll provide more room since we have a full size in there right now. eventually we'll get caleb a twin size too and move the crib to our room. today we're gonna switch out the beds and hopefully go look at some open houses in waipio and ewa. we're not fully looking yet, but wanna start figuring out how we're going to change our living situation. the thing that sucks is that this place is not going to sell for nearly as much as we bought it for...we bought it for $290,000...there's one on sale for $280,000 and one for $238,000 in this same building. damn $238,000 people are screwing us up!!! we're hoping that once the rail comes in it'll up the price of this place since we'll be so close to one of the main hubs...but how we're going to hang on to this place for that long is beyond me...

Oh my goodness...I just typed about 5 paragraphs and Caleb reached up and deleted it all. I'm not doing it again...

having gestational diabetes is nutts. i can't imagine having diabetes all the time. i can't imagine measuring and planning and figuring out carb counts and stuff like that all the time. i'm lucky that my body is sensitive to changes within it, so even when my blood sugar is a little bit high, i can feel the effects of it. because of that, i tend to be able to better stick to the diet and exercise because i know i'll feel funny if i don't. i suck at failing, so every time my blood sugar is even a little bit high, i feel crappy about it. i swear i'm eating less than i ate when i wasn't pregnant. eating better too. still sucks, though.

my weight seems to have stalled at around 138...it's been there for a while now. we go to the doctor next week thursday, so i'm hoping he doesn't tell me i have to tweak my diet some more to gain more.

have to alter my breakfast since that's the one that's been high. bought some whole wheat tortillas so i'll make a breakfast burrito with egg and cheese for breakfast tomorrow. that only means waking up earlier so i can make the breakfast and go walking before we leave for school.

took my first walk at lunch today. couldn't judge the time so ended up doing laps around my class after walking around a building and down hoolaulea to the office. i don't want to walk around campus cuz i don't want to see kids acting like idiots and piss me off. tomorrow i'll walk around a building, down hoolaulea, and in the cafe parking lot area. walking definitely helps my blood sugar.

pricked myself in front of the kids after lunch...that was a little bit distracting for them but luckily it was my wonderful period 3. had it been period 1, 2, or 4, they would have been lost for the rest of the period.

told period 4 to just shut up today cuz they were irritating the heck out of me. blessing from God not to be in the classroom in this latter part of the pregnancy, i guess cuz some kids are hella irritating to me. another blessing is that the paperwork is at a minimum...yay for that.

imma go sleep. i'm so freakin tired it's not even funny.

well, ultrasound today went well, and i don't have to go back for another 6 weeks. that one will help determine how much baby has grown and whether or not i'll need a c-section. baby is normal sized right now and positioned correctly...and it's definitely a SHE, so brynna it is.

doctor said that as long as i follow my diet and do my exercising, everything should be fine since my sugar counts have been pretty okay. the only one i gotta tweak little bit is the breakfast one...we're gonna try eating a little bit earlier tomorrow morning and taking a little walk before i go to school. the thing that made my two sugar counts high was lack of exercise after eating so i gotta make sure to fit that in.

brynna moves choke now. i guess cuz she has less room in there, the movements are felt big time. we didn't get any really good pictures of her face, but we did get a very good picture of her girl part...weird!!! it's so weird that you can see that part really well...garsh...

caleb is so funny. he's such a hot/cold little boy. smiley and happy at one moment, screaming and throwing his head back the next. he's so expressive now and fun. no words yet, though he does say "daddy" quite often...but he doesn't know what it means cuz he uses it at random times. no "mommy" yet. he likes to shake his head no and is starting to do whiplash/overemphasized nods now.

i wonder how brynna will be. like what if she's the opposite of caleb...non-smiley, very mellow, introverted...that'll be interesting. i really wonder what she's going to look like! well, only 7 1/2 more weeks if we make it to our due date!

asked dave's doctor about vasectomy today...he said that if we want it, he can refer us, but some urologists might be hesitant because of his age. i think maybe we'll wait another 5 years to make sure we're really done...at this point i can't imagine having another baby, but you never know. sheez, that means i gotta be on some form of birth control again...oh well. better that than surprise again!

frick...high sugar count this morning after breakfast. grrreat. it's cuz i never walk around...guess doing some laps in my classroom wasn't enough, or was too little too late. i think i'm going to have to eat breakfast early and take a walk before i come to school. sheez, that means waking up super early. maybe i'll try changing up my breakfast diet and including even less carb...i'll ask the doctor what i should do for that. i can feel that funny kine feeling, which i know i get when my blood sugar is too high.

man, i hope cy comes to sub for me. he's not here yet and it's homeroom. his phone is going straight to voice mail too. should have reminded him yesterday but i didn't want to be an overbearing pain in the butt...lol...should have just followed my natural instinct. at least my appointment isn't until 11:30, so hopefully he gets here well before then.

wow, i feel funny kine. the count wasn't too high...154 and should be under 140...we'll see what doctor says today.

caleb slept good last night...he whimpered around midnight, but didn't fully wake up. then he started crying at 530 but in the time it took me to go and get his milk, he went back to sleep. when we left the house around 7 he was still sleeping. he had a rough day yesterday with napping...every time he fell asleep in the car, we just reached our destination so he didn't get in his two naps like he usually does and he was a grouchy boy last night. plus too he's still getting over his runny nose and teeth may be coming in.

i feel tired. stupid blood sugar. i wonder if baby is head down now...guess we'll see today. hopefully i'll get some pictures i can bring home for dave to see.

yay for no high blood sugar counts today. tomorrow i'm taking a day off because i have to go get an ultrasound. after that i'll be in the classroom tues, wed, and thurs, so i'll have to figure out how to get some extra walking in after breakfast and lunch.

tonight as i went for a little 15 minute walk, i noticed that it's easier to walk around. it just may be my imagination, but i think my stomach/legs look smaller too. hehe. wishful thinking.

9 p.m...gotta go eat a snack and go nene. i'm tired. caleb better sleep good tonight.

day one of pricking myself 4 times is now over.

had one high blood sugar count...after breakfast...didn't exercise before taking the count, though, so i guess the walking really does help.

measuring everything exactly is kind of nutts. it would help if i had a food scale too.

this morning i pricked my finger...still takes me a little bit to get my courage up and say a little prayer before i can actually stick my finger...at least i'm able to use the lowest (tiniest prick) setting and get enough blood to do the test.

one nice thing is that i don't have to pay for the supplies...we went to pick it up at longs and i didn't have any copayment...yay...i pay for it in blood...

caleb has been getting up early in the morning (like 3, 4, 5) and crying. yesterday i grabbed him at about 330 and brought him out into the living room. he eventually went back to sleep at 430 on the ground, then woke up again at 530, then went back to sleep with me on the couch until 630. this morning he was crying from 440-510ish and then went back to sleep...only to wake up again at 530ish. so i grabbed him and brought him in the living room...he drank his 6 oz so i guess he was hungry...thought he was going to stay up and play but he eventually went down on the ground until about 730. yay for that. his nose has been bothering him and he may have some teeth coming in...and he's just a little butt that wants attention and knows how to get it...in a way, i don't mind giving him some extra love cuz he's going to feel a little bit abandoned when the new baby is here and we have to devote time to her.

okay, gonna take a little walk before i take my blood sugar...

well, done with the class. i learned about gestational diabetes, what causes it, how to eat and exercise, and how to prick my finger and understand my glucose count.

at the class, after eating carrots and almonds, blood sugar was 82.

ate pho for dinner (someone made me hungry for it when she was eating it the other day...lol)...measured the noodles so i only got 1 cup, which is 3 carb servings, my max for dinner.

after an hour, my blood sugar was 174...yowzas...supposed to be under 140. think the pho soup might have done me in...

went for a 20 minute walk, bocha'd, then measured again...down to 103.

looks like i gotta do a lot more walking after meals to control it. i was pretty depressed after the 174...

i need to start drinking some milk, even though 1 cup equals 1 carb serving. i know i'm not getting enough calcium.

oops, 9 already. gotta eat a snack...1 carb, 1 fat, 1 protein. that means like 1 bread slice, 1 teaspoon butter, 1 boiled egg...1 bread with 1 1/2 T peanut butter...hmm, that sounds good...

i'm tired. caleb actually slept until 6 a.m. this morning...he's been getting up crying at around 5:30 because his nose is all stuffy and runny. poor guy.

today's my gestational diabetes class for four hours. hope it's informative and interesting and doesn't leave me feeling more pissy about what i can and can't eat.

monday is ultrasound. hopefully everything's all good and we get good pics of brynna.

ate spaghetti with whole wheat noodles last night and couldn't taste the difference at all. if only the whole wheat noodles were as cheap as regular noodles.

it's kind of weird to be teaching someone else's lessons...we're doing poetry and so she's chosen some poems and songs for the kids to look at...and though they're fine, they aren't really ones I would have chosen myself, so it's harder to fake it and sell it with the kids. she doesn't really seem to want a lot of direction, so i'm not sure if i should give her any pointers or anything. we'll see. i'm just making notes of things i kind of inserted or edited in the lessons that she gave me...hope she's not put off by that.

she's having them do an i am poem on monday...on the sheet she has a model that i did and a model that she did. the model i gave her was from super long ago and reading it makes me feel kind of shame because it just sounds "young." weird. cy's going to be here with the kids on monday so he'll do that with them.

i wonder if brynna is head down yet. she seems to be moving choke (like caleb) and i can feel her everywhere so i'm thinking she's pretty long. she's supposed to be about 19 inches and 4 pounds now. wow. that's about the size i was when i was born!

well, thank goodness it's friday. ready for the weekend and the short week next week!!!

these next two months are gonna suck, if today was any indication. okay, i know i have to change my attitude, but i really feel like crap right now.

i love to eat. i love to indulge myself with food. i can't imagine what i was thinking when i went meatless in college and when i used to eat like a rabbit to maintain weight. i have been VERY good (in my opinion) since finding out about the gestational diabetes in terms of diet, but that doesn't make for a very happy or satisfied me. i eat but i don't enjoy it and when i'm pau i don't feel content. anyone who knows me knows that a hungry me is a grouchy me... i've been keeping a food diet journal so at least that keeps me on track. gotta figure out what we're eating for dinner tomorrow night and pick up some brown rice.

eating all this fiber has made my doodoos really weird. and i get the meanest sore stomach before i have to take a dump. and when i gotta go, i gotta go now. i sure hope it doesn't happen in school cuz if i take a dump in the library, it's going to be BAD.

trying to do some walking after dinner. at school i figure the trek to dave's classroom from the library does me some good, though i could go for additional walks too. walking up to dave's classroom is like walking a freakin marathon and i'm hella breathless by the time i get there. the steps leading up to a building in the hallway are KILLER.

friday i have my class at queen's to teach me about gestational diabetes and to show me how to prick my damn finger. great. it's a 4 hour class and i'll be doing it solo. double great. it's not one on one but a group class. triple great.

monday i have my ultrasound at fetal diagnostic. that one will be solo again...but at least it's nothing invasive, sore, social, or threatening. hopefully i'll get a good look at brynna and everything with her development will be fine.

tomorrow, friday, and next week (except monday, when i have a sub) i'll be in the classroom with my kids. zandra told me that some of the kids weren't thrilled that i would be subbing for them...they wanted a "real" sub. screw them...bizatches.

boss didn't make any announcements today and i don't know if she talked to the social studies department. whatever, cuz i can't work with them yet since i'll be in the classroom anyways.

super freakin' tired. not getting good night's sleep anymore...having that restless leg feeling before going to bed so i can't get to sleep quickly. and dave was not snoring for a while, but has started again...lol.

gonna put caleb to sleep, eat 1/2 a banana, then go to sleep...hopefully...

yesterday was my first day without kids...and boy was it BORING. i tried my best to figure out what to do without any real direction...looked in some books and took notes on reading strategies, vocabulary strategies, cornell notes, and other stuff that i thought might be good to share with other departments. at 1:00 p.m. tom and i met with boss to figure out what i'm really supposed to be doing...so my assignment for the next 8.5 weeks is...work with social studies, teach, model and observe reading strategies, vocab strategies, and cornell notes! at least my time spent in the morning will be helpful and in the afternoon i was able to start coming up with some notes and forms that i'll use with the teachers.

kay, but who are those teachers actually going to be? boss said she's going to say in general the social studies department and then tell them that if any are especially interested in getting some help in how to integrate literacy or learn different strategies, they can come to see me. she mentioned some specific names of teachers she wants me to work with...but i'm not really too comfortable about going up to them and saying, "You need help." lol...and no matter how i say it, for some peeps, in the back of their mind i know it's going to be taken personally. it'll be interesting. boss said if i can help one or two peeps in the time i have, that would be good. basically, counting this week, i have 9 weeks until my due date. thursday and friday and all of next week i'll be subbing in my class because zandra has a wedding she has to go to the mainland for...so in 7 weeks, we'll see if i'm really able to do much of anything.

oops, homeroom is pau so i guess i better get to work...lol...it's so lonely in this cave down here...in a way i like the peace and quiet, but i do miss being in the classroom with the kids...it's so weird to walk by my classroom and have it not be MY classroom for the time being...

tried to do caleb's 1 year pictures yesterday but he wasn't too into it...new environment, guess he doesn't like new or change too much. we'll try again on another day...we went to the beach by paradise cove yesterday, next time we'll try moanalua gardens. it'll just be nice to have some pics of him before brynna comes along.

i'm so freakin tired these days. getting up 4 times a night to pee doesn't help me feel rested at all. luckily caleb's been sleeping better so that helps. for two nights he slept all the way through, last night he woke up and cried for about 15-20 minutes at around 3 a.m.

i keep hearing stories of babies being born early...and now that i'm in my 32nd week i guess brynna could be here at any time. i was about a month early, i think...or something like that. nutts. i'm not even ready for a new baby...gotta get some diapers and wash the bassinet stuff. but if i wash the bassinet stuff now and she doesn't come early, i'm gonna have to wash it again anyways. dunno what makes more sense. no hospital bag packed for me and dave yet either. no food supply made and frozen for caleb. sheez. i don't even wanna think about it.

doctor tomorrow. haven't even met with a dietician yet so i'm not completely sure what i'm supposed to be eating. what i've looked up on the internet just mentions eating 3 meals and a few snacks at around the same times every day, lay off the sugar, eat about the same amount of carbos for each meal (little less for breakfast), don't skip any meals, eat healthy. boiled some eggs for breakfast this week, gonna get salad and sandwich stuff for lunches. sometimes i get so hungry for something and can't think of what to eat...ate a freakin' cucumber cuz i was hungry and that definitely didn't satisfy me...then ate a 100 calorie kudos bar and felt funny after that. bought some clementines and have a bunch of apples so hopefully that will curb my sweets cravings...although eating apples kind of makes me feel funny too...

turned caleb's seat around yesterday so now he's a forward-facing big boy. we actually have him in the seat we bought for brynna cuz it's bigger than his seat. we'll use his seat for brynna when she comes. it'll be nutts to have two babies in the car with us...i can just imagine if both of them are screaming at the same time...